David Sedaris!

Hi, everyone! So basically, I'm home from school for the break, the world is supposed to be ending shortly, yadda yadda yadda. I got bored with the whole apocalypse back in May 2011, when my cousin and I went to Denny's to wait out the other end of the world. Also because we wanted pancakes. Anyway. I figured I'd spend humanity's last night talking about my favorite author, David Sedaris.

If you're not familiar with Mr. Sedaris, or as I call him, my good buddy David, you're really missing out. He's an essayist and humorist, and he writes all these stories about his life--his childhood in North Carolina, living in Europe with his boyfriend Hugh, traveling and the adventures he gets into when he's on book tours. The book that introduced me to his work was "When You Are Engulfed In Flames", the last quarter or so of which is the diary he kept while he was living in Japan. I was a junior in high school when I read it, and I was laughing so hard at him describing how he was the worst student in the beginner's Japanese class that I had to get sent out of the classroom. Good times.

So basically, last December, my best friend got us tickets to see David Sedaris read at the Strand in New York City. We took the bus all the way from Baltimore to get there (about three and half hours, I'd say) and we got to meet him--he stays and chats with anyone who brings their book to be signed, for as long as it takes. This is my justification for the often pricey tickets to go see him read. He will stay until goddamn midnight if you have a book to be signed, and he doesn't just sign his name and call "Next!" He'll have a whole conversation with you, and you'll walk away with some kind of inside joke and if you're especially lucky, you'll end up in his diary and he'll read the story at later events. Plus, he's a fantastically funny reader. 

ANYWAY last December, my bestie and two other girls we had befriended in line were the last four people there and we all went and chatted with David Sedaris and he wanted to sing Christmas carols. He was so cute and eager and he really really wanted to sing carols, so we all tried to come up with a carol we all knew by heart. We ended up singing "Jingle Bells", and afterwards he was excited as a child. "That was so much fun!" he kept saying. It's probably my favorite Christmas memory ever. 

Then, this past April, the two of us saw him again, this time in York, PA. And he remembered us from Christmas! We didn't get as much time to chat with him before, but it was thrilling to be remembered. We saw him for a third time this October, in Bethesda, and he still remembered us, and we were the last ones there again. He gave us a scented candle and his PF Chang's leftovers and also all these cookies he got, just since people will bring him gifts and he can't always take them all with him. He gets their addresses so he can send them a card, but it isn't always practical to fly with food and candles and shit, so he gave them to us. We were glowing when we left--laden with presents from our favorite author!

This turned into a really boastful story, but we did nothing special to deserve this, like, there was basically no ass-kissing or anything, which means pretty much anyone can meet him and become his best friend and get gifts from him at a moment's notice, and you will get to feel special too. AND EVERYONE LIKES TO BE SPECIAL. So if you're debating on whether or not to get tickets to see him when his new book comes out this spring, just remember:

• he's super funny
• he meets everyone who wants to meet him, even at like, ginormous readings
• he might put you in a story
• he might poll you on something for a story
• personalized signature 
• you might get free cookies and Chinese food

Webcomics!

Hi, everyone! Today I'm going to tell you about some of my favorite webcomics, since they're one of my very favorite ways to waste time when I'm on the internet. Plus, people really put a lot of work and thought into them, even the simple ones, and there's one that describes nearly every mood and emotion and you can send them to your friends when they're sad or just need to be irritated more.


Gunshow is one of my very favorite comics and to this day, I'm still not exactly sure why. I don't know what it is about it, or why exactly it's funny. It's very strange and dark and it sort of follows a chronological progression but mostly doesn't. The author also recommends some really bitchin' stuff, that's how I found out about Emily Carroll  and Punpun, and it's just generally dumb and funny and creepy, all wrapped into one neat little burrito. I think I spent two straight days last winter break reading every single one of these because clearly, I have a life.


Hark! A Vagrant is probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to literature/history nerds, ever. I have the hardback collection of her comics, and I love them because they're so cerebral and so doofy at the same time. That's a winning combination, kids.
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Nedroid! Oh man, what a cute comic. This is mostly the kind of comic you could read around your grandparents, and maybe they would question why the bear was so short and circular and why the bird was such a dick, but there aren't penises and severed heads everywhere, and generally the language is pretty clean, yet it never feels like you're reading Veggietales or Bible Adventures or something. Plus, they have stuffed versions of Beartato and how cute is that? SO CUTE.


Cyanide and Happiness was basically the first webcomic most people I know (including me) ever knew existed. I used to follow Kris Wilson on DeviantArt, waaaay back in like, 2007, when DeviantArt was halfway relevant. These are little bite sized pieces of inappropriate internet humor and the punch line is usually someone getting naked or their head exploding. There are approximately one hundred billion of these comics in existence, so there are probably one or two you will find funny.

Choosing a College

Hi, guys! So today, I thought I would talk a little bit about the process of picking a college. It feels like forever since I've been in high school (I graduated in the spring of 2010) and my own college-selection experience was pretty different from most of my peers. Towson was the only school I applied to, because it was the only school I felt (realistically) fit all my expectations. I was ultimately lucky to get in, not because Towson is super-duper selective, but because I didn't really have a back-up plan. Don't gamble like me, kids.

The first thing you need to understand when you're looking at colleges is that no college is perfect. At all. Maybe in the future, there will be a really cheap college the right distance away from home that has all fun and awesome majors and rainbows shoot out of all the windows and you get a free puppy when you register for classes, but so far, that college isn't real. When you understand that you're going to have to deal with shit, you're going to have a much easier time adjusting. Prioritize! Which of the following is the most important to you?

Distance: Do you want to be close to home? How close is close, for you personally? I would say my college is close to home, since it's about an hour and half of driving. Maybe that's too far, though, and you'd prefer to be less than an hour from home. Or maybe it isn't far enough. Also think about whether or not freshmen are allowed to have cars on-campus, and if not, who would be driving you/ how you would get back and forth. A lot of people came here from New York and New Jersey and they take the bus home for breaks--is that something you'd be willing to do? Decisions, decisions.

Cost: Pretty important, when it comes to picking a school. Talk to your parents, about your loan options and about how much money they've put away for you for school. Also, apply for as many scholarships as you qualify for--you'll never get money if you don't at least make the attempt! If you start looking into that stuff ASAP, then you can weigh how much your school will actually cost. See if any schools in other states have reciprocity costs with your state, since it can slash your out of state cost down really nicely.

Size: Do you want a huge school, or are you looking for something slightly larger than a high school? Or maybe something in between? I went with a larger school, since I figured there'd be more going on and more variety in classes/activities, and I'm glad I did. But a big school can be intimidating and lot of ground to cover, literally. This is what tours are for--can you see yourself walking around that campus? Is it too wide, or too stifling?

Majors: Obviously, even if all the other stuff works out great, it won't mean anything if the school doesn't offer the classes and majors you want to get involved in. If you're interested in taking a minor, make sure the school offers it, too. Most colleges will have the courses needed for their majors, as well as a full major and minor list, on their websites, and you can browse those easily. Three cheers for modern life!

There are plenty of other things at stake when you're picking a college--like whether it's urban or rural, or what the faculty-to-student ratio is, or if you can do study abroad programs, things like that. But I figured those were the most basic considerations. What colleges are you looking at, or if you've already chosen, why did you pick it?

Fantasy Christmas!

Hi, guys! So Natalie Dee did a great fantasy Christmas blog post a while back, basically describing the things  she would want for Christmas if she was super rich or could ask for literally anything in the world. She asked people to put their ideas in the comments, and I did, but then I started thinking harder and dreaming bigger. So basically, this would be my Christmas list if I was miserably filthy rich or had a miserably filthy rich husband/lover. Let's begin!

Darjeeling Limited lugagge collection by Louis Vuitton: I have very little interest in fashion brand names. I couldn't tell a Versace from a Coach from a Chanel, I just basically buy all my bags from Target and then if I spill grape juice or honey mustard on it, I won't hate myself. But I am so, so in love with the Darjeeling Limited and I would love to get my hands on the luggage set from the movie. Unfortunately, it's Louis Vuitton, which means it costs a million trillion zillion dollars and I don't even know if they make them for actual sale, or if it's been discontinued. But a girl can dream, right?

1963 Asten Marten: I don't even drive, and I want this damn car. I'm a Bond fanatic, and the fact that they brought the car back for "Skyfall" made me unbelievably happy. I don't even like cars! The only other car I even name is the one that Owen Wilson played in "Cars". But man, I would just customize it and make it so it had those butt-warmers in the seats, and maybe Daniel Craig could come with the car so I wouldn't have to even drive it.

Shiba Inu puppy: I've asked for a dog for the past 18 Christmases in a row, but my mom is really allergic to them, so I've never had a puppy before. But maybe when I get my own place next year or the year after, that could be more realistic. I think Shiba Inus are so adorable, and they're supposed to be pretty cool and friendly dogs that don't try and eat your face when you get near. All good in my book.

Burberry coat: Okay, so I may have lied about the brand thing; I do know Burberry. There's a Burberry in the mall next to my college, and I am terrified to go in there since I don't know if peasants are allowed. But their coats are so fancy and chic, and maybe nobody would notice if I was a peasant if I wore it.

What about you guys? What's on your fantasy Christmas list?

Nook!

Hi, everyone! So basically, today I'm going to talk about tech-type stuff, which is going to be especially fun since I know NOTHING about technology!

Okay, that's not entirely true. I can fix minor problems with my laptop and I love a lot of video games, but unless it's an iPod, I have zero functionality with Apple products. My friend and I were driving to another friend's birthday party, and she was having me do the directions on her iPhone while she drove, and we would have gotten better results if we had left the iPhone in the hands of a chimp. And don't even get me started on the Macs in the Mass Communications labs that I had to use for my Broadcast classes. People live and die by Macs, and I can't figure out why the hell that is. I'm a neanderthal.

But I did ask for a Nook HD tablet for Christmas. This is like, my big gift, and I'll be really excited if I get it. I have the first generation of Nook, and I've been looking into tablets, so this would be perfect, since I can just transfer all my other books onto this one, and everything will be great and wonderful. I don't plan on doing a lot of actual work on my tablet, it would mostly be for having something to do between classes and just being a little fun entertainment center, so it's fine by me that it doesn't make coffee and do my taxes and have a lock of Steve Jobs's hair included. (This is making me sound like I absolutely hate Apple, I'm realizing. I promise I don't! Maybe I have some secret unresolved issue with them, but more likely, I'm just tired of people who insist that only Apple products are any good and they are worth the three trillion dollar price tag and other tablets/computers are shit. I really love the iPod, and I'm planning on getting the new nano this January.)

Anyway! If you're shopping for someone who really loves books, I would recommend the Nook. That being said, I've never used the Kindle, so if you have tried both and find one works better for you, or you know the person you're shopping for would have an easier time with one or the other, go for it. (I actually won a Kindle in a contest my school had a week after I got my Nook, so I sold it on Craigslist without ever opening it.) Here's what I like about the Nook HD:

• Price. It's a $200 tablet, which is cheap for a tablet.
• You can create profiles for different family member, sorta like you can on a computer (though if I get one, it's alllll mine, no sharing with anybody).
• Super light, and I already carry way too much shit in my purse anyway, including my old Nook and usually another book or two besides, so that's always good.
• You can 'scrapbook' magazine pages and save them for later, which I really like, since I'll want to save makeup things and workouts and pictures of Daniel Craig in a suit and be able to whip them out at a moment's notice.
• Ten hours of battery...my laptop only has like five, and I always forget to charge stuff.

Anyway, I'll let you guys know if I get one, either for Christmas, my birthday (which is four days later) or if I end up buying for myself with money I get from the two, and how it works! What are you excited to give to others, and to get for yourself?

Artsy Things to do in the Baltimore/DC Area

Hi there, readers! Pretty much everyone in the universe is seeing "The Hobbit" right now but me (sob), but I've been reading good Cracked articles and doing stomach exercises, so life could be a lot worse. Anyway, today I'm going to talk about cool museum-type places to go if you happen to be in the Baltimore or DC vicinity.

I grew up in western Maryland, but almost all of my family lives right in the Baltimore area, so I was really familiar with it. And I went to museums in Washington DC for just about every school trip ever. I started college at Towson in 2010 and would venture into the cities for concert and outings and stuff, and now my knowledge is even better than it was before and it's basically pure badassery living so close to so many cool places. The photo at the top of the page is from the Hirshhorn gallery in DC, where I had a spaz attack over the Francis Bacon paintings and insisted my friends take my photo with it. If you like bizarre paintings of people looking blurry and tortured, I cannot recommend Francis Bacon to you enough. (If you think I'm being sarcastic, watch my reaction when anyone talks about Francis Bacon around me. I would marry him if he wasn't gay and also dead.)

There's a lot of great contemporary stuff at the Hirshhorn, too, like a whole Ai Weiwei exhibit. One of the Ai Weiwei pieces is a giant wall of names and their corresponding ages and grades and genders in Chinese. I asked my friend Harry, who spent last summer in China, what they all said and he showed me, and then he wondered why the listing of names was significant. It turns out they were all names of students who died in an earthquake, which dampened the mood a little bit. Nobody said looking at political art was going to be a barrel of monkeys, but it's really fascinating to go through the exhibits and get a little exposure to another culture and how its artists piss off its government.

There's so, so much to see and do in DC. I go to a lot of places as often as I can (with the exception of the Holocaust museum, because it's so haunting and it's kind of a once-in-a-lifetime thing, the way it touches you). The National Gallery is always a pleaser, just because it's vast and full of popular things and if you're sort of a casual art admirer, you'll be able to look at things and go "Oh, I know this!" and if you're more advanced, you'll still see things you know and it won't feel like first grade. The Natural History museum isn't very artsy, but I can't help but mention it, just because it's so wonderful.

Baltimore has some really great collections too...I think it's kind of underrated, especially since it's competing with New York and Boston and DC and all the other east coast art scenes. I went to the re-opening of the contemporary wing at the Baltimore Museum of Art with some friends, and I have never been to an art museum that crowded. Everyone, from the hoity-toity to the broke art school students, was there, and it was a lot of fun. I stepped out into the Cone collection to get some air because the contemporary wing was very nearly a mosh pit at one point, and I had a great time looking at all the Matisse and Picasso things in there as well. No matter what you're looking for, you'll probably find it at the BMA.

My favorite museum in Baltimore is the Walters, though. Since I took on my art history minor, I've been more interested in ancient and Renaissance and especially Baroque stuff than the modern and contemporary, and the Walters has a vast amount of the older stuff. I actually got sent on a scavenger hunt there for my ancient Greek art class, and I can now very proudly identify vase and pottery types and the painting styles used to make the art on them, as well as the stories on the vases, a skill which will doubtlessly get me many many jobs. In all seriousness, though, there's no feeling like going into an art museum and getting to be like Michael Sheen's character in "Midnight in Paris" for a few minutes. There's nothing wrong with indulging your inner pedantic side every once in awhile. It's good for your self esteem.

I'm getting off track, though. Basically, the Walters is a great crash course in ancient and medieval art, and they have a mummy. A mummy! Like, a real-life dead person from an Egyptian tomb! I went to the Walters a few months back during their special extended hours, and the museum was very empty by the time I wandered alone into the ancient Egypt wing. I was sooooo convinced that mummy was going to just punch through the glass and I'd scream for help and no one would hear me because they'd be in the damn Dutch masters section, looking at the Heemskerck and not giving a shit I was being eaten alive. The Walters also has some really wicked and fancy Roman sarcophagi, and some of the faces on them look like Elvis, complete with sideburns.

Also, this is specific to Towson, but I'm sure it applies to any liberal arts college--check out any on-campus art galleries. I know the people in charge of the ones at Towson work really hard to bring interesting and beautiful and sometimes even famous stuff to campus. We had Kwang Young Chun's "Aggregations" in our Asian Arts gallery for the fall, and he's been showing all over, which I thought was really neat. I'm looking forward to the spring semester, especially since the Asian arts director is the sweetest ever and she always gets me interviews with people when I'm doing Towerlight stories on gallery openings. I'll update when I know who or what is coming this spring!

Books: Let the Right One In

Hi, everyone! So I only have about a week of school left, and then I'll get to spend the rest of December and most of January doing absolutely nothing, which is exactly what is keeping me going these last few days. I'm going to spend the weekend forcing facts about the Italian Renaissance and polling techniques into my head and I won't have as much time as I like to read for fun.

That being said, I do everything I can to make time to read. People always tell me they don't have time to read. Maybe they don't. But I have five classes, work part-time, write for the paper (which often means agreeing to something without much notice) and run the art history club, and I still find ten minutes a day to read (WOW Eva, you're so awesome and cool, please tell us more about how perfect and amazing you continue to be). Really, though, give yourself those ten minutes at the bus stop or while you're pooping to read something for pleasure. If you commute or have a job where you can listen to your iPod, download some books on tape and listen to them. Read for ten minutes before you go to bed, or during the commercial breaks of your favorite show. Put books on your iPad or tablet so you never leave them behind, and you can read for a few minutes before class starts.

That being said, you need something really engaging to read. Today, I'm recommending "Let the Right One In" by John Ajvide Lindqvist. Maybe you've seen the Swedish movie based on it, which I highly, highly recommend you do. It's on Netflix now, and the children in it are so wonderful, it's like they aren't even acting at all. If you read the book, you'll realize that the movie did a really nice job taking four or five really complex, intertwining stories, and paring it down to just the core story while still letting you feel fulfilled. But what you get from the book is all the layers underneath the main plot, and ohhh, they are good.

If you're not familiar with the movie/book/story, it's essentially about a young Swedish boy named Oskar who gets bullied all the time, and the strange girl, Eli, who moves into the apartment next door. They become friends, and Oskar realizes that Eli is a vampire. That's the very bare bones of it, the A plot. The B plots are about another person living in Oskar's apartment whose best friend is attacked by Eli, and about an older boy also living in the complex who comes face to face with a horrible creature created by Eli, and about the pedophile who provides Eli with blood (We've got vampires and a romantic interest in underage children, which doesn't differentiate us from 'Breaking Dawn' so far, but there's also a lot of great horror and several very beautiful and sad love stories, and alcoholism and drug use and vicious murder and acid TO THE FACE, which does).

What Lindqvist does best is combine the beautiful and the grotesque and makes something sublime. There's some really beautiful imagery (a lovely child, standing in the snow, or two very damaged adults finding comfort in lying in bed together) and some really horrible imagery (a face melted by acid, a body strung up with its throat slit) and they take turns at just the right pace. Ugh, I just cannot rave about this book enough, and if you read it this winter, you can sit by a snowy window and pretend you are in Sweden and drink your coffee and just feel awesome about yourself. And who doesn't like that?