David Sedaris!

Hi, everyone! So basically, I'm home from school for the break, the world is supposed to be ending shortly, yadda yadda yadda. I got bored with the whole apocalypse back in May 2011, when my cousin and I went to Denny's to wait out the other end of the world. Also because we wanted pancakes. Anyway. I figured I'd spend humanity's last night talking about my favorite author, David Sedaris.

If you're not familiar with Mr. Sedaris, or as I call him, my good buddy David, you're really missing out. He's an essayist and humorist, and he writes all these stories about his life--his childhood in North Carolina, living in Europe with his boyfriend Hugh, traveling and the adventures he gets into when he's on book tours. The book that introduced me to his work was "When You Are Engulfed In Flames", the last quarter or so of which is the diary he kept while he was living in Japan. I was a junior in high school when I read it, and I was laughing so hard at him describing how he was the worst student in the beginner's Japanese class that I had to get sent out of the classroom. Good times.

So basically, last December, my best friend got us tickets to see David Sedaris read at the Strand in New York City. We took the bus all the way from Baltimore to get there (about three and half hours, I'd say) and we got to meet him--he stays and chats with anyone who brings their book to be signed, for as long as it takes. This is my justification for the often pricey tickets to go see him read. He will stay until goddamn midnight if you have a book to be signed, and he doesn't just sign his name and call "Next!" He'll have a whole conversation with you, and you'll walk away with some kind of inside joke and if you're especially lucky, you'll end up in his diary and he'll read the story at later events. Plus, he's a fantastically funny reader. 

ANYWAY last December, my bestie and two other girls we had befriended in line were the last four people there and we all went and chatted with David Sedaris and he wanted to sing Christmas carols. He was so cute and eager and he really really wanted to sing carols, so we all tried to come up with a carol we all knew by heart. We ended up singing "Jingle Bells", and afterwards he was excited as a child. "That was so much fun!" he kept saying. It's probably my favorite Christmas memory ever. 

Then, this past April, the two of us saw him again, this time in York, PA. And he remembered us from Christmas! We didn't get as much time to chat with him before, but it was thrilling to be remembered. We saw him for a third time this October, in Bethesda, and he still remembered us, and we were the last ones there again. He gave us a scented candle and his PF Chang's leftovers and also all these cookies he got, just since people will bring him gifts and he can't always take them all with him. He gets their addresses so he can send them a card, but it isn't always practical to fly with food and candles and shit, so he gave them to us. We were glowing when we left--laden with presents from our favorite author!

This turned into a really boastful story, but we did nothing special to deserve this, like, there was basically no ass-kissing or anything, which means pretty much anyone can meet him and become his best friend and get gifts from him at a moment's notice, and you will get to feel special too. AND EVERYONE LIKES TO BE SPECIAL. So if you're debating on whether or not to get tickets to see him when his new book comes out this spring, just remember:

• he's super funny
• he meets everyone who wants to meet him, even at like, ginormous readings
• he might put you in a story
• he might poll you on something for a story
• personalized signature 
• you might get free cookies and Chinese food